So. How's the PhD?
- canelaflames
- Sep 5
- 3 min read
Updated: Sep 27
Something I like about being a non-traditional student is that I know who I am this time around. For instance, there are certain forms of validation that I once looked for the I no longer need. When I think back, the validation I needed came in the form of double and triple checking my emails to make sure they conveyed the right message. The validation came in the form of checking with people before doing something because I was just nervous to make a mistake. Now, there is a lot less time seeking that support and more time executing said action. This becomes a challenge when everyone is treated like a blank slate. With over 10 years of professional experience, a blank slate is far from what I would call my professional experience. Furthermore, I am increasingly aware of how I show up in the world. I am a Black woman who is studying my second language in my second language. By that I mean, there is some overlap of cultural backgrounds among my peers, but not really. I am a generation older than some of my cohort members. At least, that's how one of them described it. Why they gotta do me like that? haha.
I feel I am stretching beyond my comfort zone because.. well.. they're right. We are not of the same generation. I tried to make a harry potter joke once during my first two years of teaching. My joke was met with blank stares. BLANK STARES. This is karma for when I would do the same thing to my professors. Or, it's making it more clear how things change. I would like to think I am with the times. I am on TikTok and I use Instagram. But there are so many differences that go beyond the latest trend. I feel humbled by the space I hold in the world. Like, the lyrics to I'm not a girl, not a woman don't fit anymore. But neither do the lyrics from I Love College fit... but I am in college. smh.
The best thing I could have done for myself was go to the basketball games. I hate to admit that I am just getting into the WNBA, but I am. When I am in the arena, I do not think about anything but the things that are right in front of me. Sabally shooting a three. AT getting another triple double. Kah putting dubs in the chat. Monique showing off her basketball skills... I love seeing them all play. Basketball has been my escape this semester... and we are only three weeks in (*gasp). It already feels like I have been here for a really long time. sigh.. not in a bad way, but sigh.
All that to say, everything is going well. I am getting older. And I feel it in my bones. Walking around campus in your early twenties is not the same as walking around on campus... at... the... ripe... age I am now. Which makes me feel even older than I am. Or, maybe it's the students! The students keep getting younger. That's what it is. I hope that I remain on the upward trajectory. I did not say this explicitly in the previous paragraphs, but I really am enjoying it. I like being a nontraditional student because I feel like a different person within this experience. I feel I can contribute in a unique way.
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